On Saturday night my cousin invited me to go to Zion which is his sister's fiance's little church get together. It was really good because it put a lot of things into perspective for me. Though I was anxious all day to go to Tim's friends house who lives near me in Woodbury to hang out with them. I had opened the salon that day so I was tired and just wanting to have fun. I was expecting anything and was going to keep my guard up no matter what. I feel like I'm filling a void until I figure out what I'm going to do. I was trying to listen to the sermon and trying to take it in though it was benefiting me at this point I am in my life I didn't want to break down there since I was all made up for the night. I did realize though that I was excited for Jesus to come back because it seems as though I'm always waiting for that perfect man to come into my life whether it be the person that I'm praying for or whom ever God has for me. The thought of being able to run into Jesus' arms sent chills down my spine and tears to my eyes. I had to hold myself back from crying with joy at that thought. I couldn't believe how much joy that thought brought to mind.
It was overwhelming grant I'm still chasing boys here just to get the attention such as Tim I'm never completely satisfied. So we sang, listened, and prayed for Jesus to move in our lives. I just kept saying thank you to God and all that He has done for me that day and always. It was nice being in His presence after I'm been pushing Him away for a few weeks now. I know that He loves me and never wants me to be hurt. I realize I set myself up for most of my hurts. In that it should be expected that I get hurt without being in God's shadow for protection. I know it's something that I need to work on growing closer to Him.
I saw that my phone had blinked but only to tell me that I have received an email but as I logged out I saw I had a voicemail from a missed phone call. I automatically think it was Tim calling but I checked the number and it was a number I didn't know of. Without a doubt I ran in back to check it waiting to hear that familiar voice again. At first I didn't recognize it because he sounded different but within seconds I knew. I knew it was him and I my heart just dropped to the floor. Within seconds of knowing I quickly hung up to check when he had called...it only had been twenty minutes since he had called he should still be with whomever...I hope. I his send and my heart didn't even skip a beat. The voice that answer on the other end is a famliar voice but it registers that I now have Dan's phone number ha ha...I ask to speak with Max.

We only talked for two minutes but it was enough time for him to tell me that he just called to "say hi" WTF?! I'm like well I need a lot more than that without thinking I blurted out the words of desperation..."can I come over?" I always run to him when he calls me after so long. I feel weak and vulnerable. I realize I should have played him off making him think that I have moved on or that I don't miss his...no no I just throw myself at him when he says boo. I had told my mother that recently if Max ever calls and I'm with Tim I would drop everything and go over there. Though I was kidding with a bit of sincerity in it...I did it for real...go figure.
I missed him though I always miss him. It's not like he's my drug but nothing else exists when I'm with him. I fee like it's just us and nothing can stop us, but sure enough things do. The main reason I wanted to go over there was obviously because I missed him and wanted to see him but mainly because I wanted some answers. I did get them though...maybe not fully but just enough to realize what I'm dealing with here. I know that he's not out talking to other girls that's the thing he doesn't DO ANYTHING!
I told him everything about how I felt he's dragging me a long....I hate how I always run to him when he calls after so too long...he gets my hopes up...he doesn't care the same as I care for him...because of his problems he hurts me....
I felt I had nothing to lose so why not let him know everything that he has done to me. I layed it all out and wasn't going to leave without a good enough answer. He gave it which made me a bit less bitchy and sure enough I ended up staying the night.
I did let him that I was suppose to go out but they ended up going back to Maplewood and that some guy was interested in me. Max asked tons of questions about him. It was almost like he was encouraging me to date him. I don't like that fact but at the same time he can't offer me anything and he knows that which is why he doesn't want a relationship. The thing is though while I was putting up a fight at the beginning all I wanted to do was run into his arms. I wanted him to hold me and tell that everything was going to be okay. Even if it was a lie for that night it'd be perfect. I feel every time that we are together it's perfect! I feel so peaceful when I'm with him. Nothing else in the world can matter or get to me because he's at my side. Even the slightest touch from him sends shocks throughout my body. It's crazy! When he looks at me I get self concious but yet he's the only person I want to look at me. Of course we made out because I wanted to kiss him. I missed his kisses. They are so perfect and smooth. I never felt that way about a kiss. It's like we just are nsync when kissing. When he holds me and my head is on his chest I couldn't be any where else in the world. I fit perfectly and his arms are wrapped around me holding me light enough yet secure enough. I watch him fall asleep and I realize I truly don't want to sleep next to anybody but him for the rest of my life. He's all that I want to hear snore lol. It was a perfect night yet again.
Then last night I went out with Tim we just went out for a drink and to play some pool and darts because it was last on a Sunday with nothing to do. He of course was a gentleman and paid for everything. We talked for a bit he listened and ask questions. We hung out at his place for a while and he wanted to make out so I let him but it was nothing like Max. I wasn't into at all so I told him that I was tired and wanted to go home. I don't want nothing from him. I feel bad because he's a really good guy perfect in all the secular way but I feel he's just not for me.
I went to get a bathing suit top because I want to go swimming with Max or just to the beach at least. I'm hoping he's home or will answer the door.
I shall see...I think I'm going to be leaving soon...

I feel like I've just lost a loved one. That apart of me is about to go missing.
I can't sleep at night. When I'm trying to fall asleep all I think of is pushing him away before he does it to me.
I wake up feeling like crap. I just want to curl up go to sleep and never wake up.
It's like a dull depression creeping up on me.
My mind is in a haze my body feels like it's going in slow motion.
Whenever I think of him my eyes swell up with tears and I just can't take it anymore.
My heart was broken before but now it seems to be disintegrating right before me & scattering into the wind.

I can't think, I just feel quiet, irritable, and sleepy all the time. If I do put on a smile it's my body just going along with the motions of life. I can't seem to actually focus or become part of reality. It all seems to just be going by without me. I'm not grasping anything that passes by. I get physically sick if I stop and actually think that I will lose him. It doesn't make sense to me...I don't understand. All I know is that it hurts.
That pain that goes from my chest down to my right arm to my fingers. That's how I know it really hurts. It only happens when my heart hurts in any situation. Death or certain heartbreaks that I've been through only cause it.

He said he'd call to talk about it that was last Wed. It's Monday...I don't want to think, speak, or breathe.
I've played out my break up so many times yet I can't bring myself to push him away. I've thought of so many things to throw in his face but it only breaks my heart to think of those harsh things. Sleep is the only thing that makes sense right now.
I don't want to do anything but sleep.
I can't even bring myself to pray about him the only thing I can do is cry out to God of how much it hurts and that I want him nobody else. It's the truth. I couldn't go through losing him again. The first time I just threw him aside didn't even try to pray for him and he came back. I was doing everything in spite of him. Now if I lost him I feel like this would be it. It'd be for real he'd be out of my life for good. What would be the point in having him around and to drag me along? Then five or ten years down the rode finally if that get what I've been waiting for? Makes no sense.
I can't believe that I let myself fall for this again.
It sucks...Jesus how come you let me get hurt again?

I picked up my paycheck yesterday and already I spent over $100 & it hasn't even been 24 hours. On what?! I don't know!
I haven't heard from him yet...I wish I can say that I did. Last night I sat alone eating dinner and watching Sex & the City. I had to keep myself from going over to his house. All I wanted was for him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I think if I don't hear from him by next week I'm going to stop by and drop his stuff off and pick up mine. I can't do this with him any more. I know that I can give it to God. I know it will hurt so much especially at the thought of him possibly dating other girls. I can cry now just thinking about it. But, I'm done being dragged around yet he's satisfied in whatever it is that we were. What I want to tell him is that he can be free now...no more responsibilities of saying "No" to other girls wanting to sleep with him. He can go out with his friends to drink more and damage his liver and smoke to continue destroying his health. The best part is that he doesn't need to talk about his feelings anymore nor explain himself.
I want to tell him how much he really has hurt me but the thing is he already knows and doesn't care. He doesn't care that I like him or if I don't...he will just keep doing what he's doing. That's what hurts the most that no matter what I say or do it doesn't matter to him. I'm nothing to him but just that little feeling that flutters in him at random points & but a fix that only last but a second and he moves on.

Last night I think it finally sunk in that Max doesn't want to be with me like I want to be with him. It finally truly hurt. I wanted to sit in silence which is something that I never want to do. The numb hurt feeling that I felt last night and a little today is when my grandpa died. That feeling that someone is missing in my life that should still be there. Someone who needs to be there to make sense of life.
Everyone thinks that I should date Tim but I know there's nothing there. I have that feeling like I will be unhappy if I stay with him. Then again how do I know that I will be happy with Max later on?
Last week when I was cleaning at work God made me see something that I never realized before. It was like which one brings you closer to me? I thought about it and Max does because when things aren't going well I turn to God and become a better person to get my blessings which brings me closer to Him. Tim I'm getting what I want the attention and to have a guy there but doing things that I shouldn't be doing and possibly getting hurt at the same time. When I do get hurt with him I don't turn to God but get upset because it's not something that I truly want. That's it right there Tim isn't someone I truly want. Yes, it's convenient at the time and nice to have him but it's not what I want. Max is yet I'm still suffering and not getting him...but on Monday at the healing room they prayed over me to never give up and never to be discouraged. God wants us to believe and not doubt! I want to believe that Max is the one for me and God will change his heart for the better. God wants Max to advance the kingdom of God just as much as I do!
I need to go now do some lesson plans then work...

This past weekend I hung out with Tim after attempting to hang out with Max which of course failed. I had a great time then after my second attempt this past Monday of knocking on Max's door with no answer I went to the healing room then to Tim's. We had another fun night. We went to see Funny People. I liked it. He was really sweet and willing to go out and do something fun. We held hands, joked around, and talked about life. It was like going on the date I've been wanting to go on with Max for a little over a year now. Maybe it's easier to be myself with Tim since I don't like him as much as Max. When I'm with Max I get nervous because I like him so much and I don't want to act a fool which is what I end up doing anyway because I get so nervous.
Anyways, I've noticed I've been exciting when I get a text from Tim and I feel like I'm starting to like him. The other day my friend made me make a pros & cons list for both guys. It was easy to come up with tons of things about Max and harder for Tim on the cons. I was coming up with different things in my head to say to Max...not necessarily breaking up with him because we aren't even officially together to begin with. I also missed him at the same time. At the last minute I decided to stop by...right now I'm debating if it really was a good idea or not. I found out much more than I wanted which the point was to let him know that I'm not going to be dragged along and it turned into him saying he wasn't ready for a commitment as if he were ending it with me.
I drove by and saw him and his friends were out in the garage driving by I realized I couldn't drive away after they seen me so I turned around to park and I walked up. He was being nice and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. We talked about that past Thursday and how he didn't call because he was pissed at me for just leaving without saying goodbye but I told him my side of the story. We made up with that and he caught me up with everything going on with his life and I did mine.
I had so much on my mind I was quiet and I knew he knew something was off or not looking good. Somehow God gave me the open door to say what I was feeling. We both opened up and I told him that I couldn't do this that he was dragging me along AGAIN! That's when he opened up saying he wants to be "free" meaning he doesn't want to commit or have any responsibilities. That set me up for tears.
I had to sit there quietly so I could compose myself with a few close ones one tear had manage to escape at the moment he decided to look at me with the street light shining on me from across the street. He sat quietly next to me with a few laughs here and there to lighten up the mood. I then questioned why he was laughing with a hurt look on my face.
I knew that this could be the end of something I so strongly hoped for. All those horrible feelings that I felt when Julian left me came back and I wanted to curl up and die right then and there. He wasn't saying anything rude or as if he wanted me out of his life but cool and calmly. I asked how he could keep himself so composed and cool while I was hurting?
I told him he was being unfair and he told me he never said he was. After sitting there for nearly an hour in silence with little comments here and there. I found out my truth that he wasn't ready for anything nor did he know that he even wanted to be with me like that.
He says he doesn't expect anything from me nor is he pushing me away. We ended because he needed sleep for the meeting that decided if he gets to keep his job or not that night at 3am. I stood up pissed walking to my car after he said we could talk about it tomorrow. It all sounded too familiar like the last time we got into it. Making promises that he can't keep. He says he's going to call then when I was about to leave he wanted a hug...I wanted him to embrace me and never let me go. While we were hugging and went in for a kiss but I pulled my head back and without thinking said "REALLY?!" in a pissed voice. He chuckled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. his lips on my cheek made my heart break into a million pieces I wanted him to make out with me then hold me gain telling me everything was going to be alright. He may not have wanted to commit but he never would want me to leave.
He walked away telling me that he'd call but putting up a front so I don't get my hopes up I disagree that he will do so. I drive away wanting to ball my eyes out.

The nice thing about last night was that was a meteor shower and while we went for a walk and sat outside talking we saw about 5 and looking outside my window heartbroken once I got home I saw a couple more. It reminded me of God's awesome power and peace beyond all understanding. As cheesy as this was but I sat crying looking out my window singing twinkle twinkle little star. It made me feel better...let's see if he calls today or at all.

God I want him...work on his heart...stir his heart!!!

It happened...he texted me finally but it was strange because he said "Is this Jessica? This is Max." I was at work just finished closing about to tan when I heard my phone. I answered  back right away then he said he's been trying to reach me for two weeks he has tried many numbers even stopped by my house a couple times. He washed his phone so he lost all his numbers. I believed him right away because he's not the type to make up things like that. I know that he did wrong not calling me that last Thursday but other than that he said he's been trying to get a hold of me.
I asked if I could see him and of course I rushed over there. He wanted to go for a walk and we did but right when I got there and we started walking outside he was like "can I get a hug?" I know that he missed me. I missed him too. I let him know that I was hurt because he has ignored me before. He said he knew I would think that...but then again can he blame me? No...I stopped by again that night after I left in the morning. I brought him a piece of german chocolate cake with a candle. He said he didn't even get a cake for his birthday! I'm glad I was able to do that for him. Ugh but that night I stopped by to grab him and go do something though it was almost 10. There's still tons to do...but I feel he would have turned them all down. I asked if he wanted to see a movie but he said NO because he will fall asleep. I'm like oooooook. So we stayed at his place watching tv on the couch cuddling. It was around midnight when Dan came home and he asked Max to give him a ride. Max didn't say anything but went and talked with Dan a couple times. Dan even came in the living room and I talked with him. Before I knew it Max was standing near the stairs asking if Dan's ready. I had no idea what was going on. I stood up and grabbed my purse. My blood was slowly boiling. I had a feeling he was going to ask me to leave. The whole time we were sitting there he didn't sit and talk to me. There was no communication! What was I suppose to assume? I wanted to hang out with him that night he said he wasn't busy yet not he's pushing me out the door so he can do a favor for his friend?
Okay I understand he may need to do that but not even take the time to tell me what's up!!!! I was irate. While we were walking down the steps they were all joking around and I was in my own little world getting pissed at him.
We were standing there and I was like "um so am I going with or do you want me to go?" He was like well yeah I got to go to Dan's house..."so do you want me to leave?"...yeah because I need to go to Dan's house...I knew what he meant the first time but I just couldn't believe he was doing this.
I had to get gum for Dan becauae he had asked so I sort of stormed out about to explode I was so angry. I was giving me a couple seconds to cool off so I don't say anything stupid. I was walking fast to the car and I hear Max in the background "don't I get a goodbye?" I turned around still pissed shaking my head not that I was saying no but that I couldn't believe what he was doing. I open my car door grab the gum and turn back to see Dan standing at the end of the driveway and Max in his car. Again I got pissed. I handed Dan the gum and Dan asks if I'm mad...I lie telling him I'm not with much anger in my voice. I jump in my car and speed away.
That was Thursday night and it's now Monday. I haven't heard from him nor have I seen him since.
I'm sure he sees this as me throwing a big tantrum...yes it was me throwing a tantrum but it's something much more than that. First, I asked if he was busy that night and obviously I wanted to hang out the night. Second, there was no communication! He just assumed that I knew where my place was below his friends.
Something always comes up with him everytime we plan something it seems like we aren't meant to be. I couldn't believe he did that to me.
Saturday night I wanted to do something and I tried calling Dan's phone but that doesn't work so there was no way of getting a hold of Max. I even stopped by around 8:15 to see if he was busy...all dolled up wearing heels walked up to his door & nothing!
I went out with Tim instead! My ex in 12th grade ha ha that was so much fun! He looked hot and he was really sweet! He always comes into my life when I have someone I really like. He came into my life last summer when I met Max and Max won that one but this time around Tim is looking pretty good. It goes Tim is everything but a Christian and all Max is a Christian.
It sounds like neither is good for me...I need to go work now

Last night was really fun I hung out with my mother's cousins and her children who are close to my age. They think that I'd be better off with their friends older brother who's in the Navy and ready to settle down. I don't think do because I guess he wants to buy a house in Cali. I was like um I don't want to move to Cali and Levi was like what do you mean you're going to be moving to Moscow if you stay with that Russian. I couldn't help but laugh and think that I wouldn't mind living somewhere with Maxim as long as I'm with him.
I want to go over to his house since it's been two weeks then there's a part of me that wants to let him be to miss me. If that's even the case any more. I hope he hasn't pushed out all of his feelings for me. I want to let him know that I'm not mad at him but just want to be with him to take care of him. I can't believe this is happening again after all that we've been through and he decides to take this path.
Thinking of what I should I think God wants me to let go of the situation and not manipulate it myself. That's going to be a hard thing!
I'm already coming up with all these things that I want to say when I go over there tonight...right there I'm planning on going over there tonight. I can't! I will not! I need to let it go trust God will take care of it!
Made dinner for my mother and am watching tv with her. Going to talk with her now...

I want to live if Moscow if it takes to be with him. lol

It's been one week two days since I've stopped by Max's house when he wasn't home and nearly two weeks since I've seen him. I feel it's all starting up again. I know that I need to give it to God though. God has put people in my path to help me realize this needs to be HIS doing and HIS way if it's going to be done. I know that God can do anything according to His will. I know that God wants the best for both Max and I so it'll take time, trust, & tons of prayers. It's become easier letting go I don't know if it's because I've done this before with him or that God is really in it this time with me since I'm letting him. I can't imagine going through this without HIM anyway.

Blessing are suppose to be poured out the rest of the year yet I'm just going down hill this past week getting upset with my mother and what have you. I know that the enemy is trying to get me off track since I'm been doing so well.
I can't seem to keep a good balance though. I know I need to get into the word more to help me do so.
I'm off all weekend and it feels really nice though now I see it's good for me to keep busy doing other things so I'm not always with my family getting irritated with them.
I miss Max and as I was looking at baby clothes while shopping for my niece it really made me want to have little boys with Max who look just like him (= They'd be so adorable. Last night I really wanted to call him or go over...in fact I did test to see if his phone is working but it still isn't. I feel that he enjoys not having a phone. So many thoughts go through my head that make sense but really are extreme like him changing his number so I can't get a hold of him.
Who knows....

God's been working me through the storm & heartbreak. Just this past weekend, with no phone call from him )=, God kept me busy working & visiting relatives I haven't seen in a while, which was really nice! I was able to get a little closer to them since we're all grown up up now and on our way to be great warriors of God and they seem to know how to get into advancing the kingdom of God or helping me get involved into something for my own age and more. We're planning on getting together sometime this week...even sharing the story of what happened to me. I guess my cousin is wanting to help girls deal with things like that and much more. She wants to hear what I went through and how God healed me from it all!
I was glad I went because earlier that day my mother and I have been fighting...which we've been doing a lot more. It's like all the areas that were going good aren't so good any more. My mother and I have been fine just like me and Max.
It's been really hard on me these past couple days because my heart is slowly breaking. I feel disappointed in myself for allowing me to believe such great things were going to happen. I really tried though I really did! I tried being good in fact I've gotten better at other things. I feel like God just takes things away from me though...how come we call them blessings when He gives things to us? What happens when they're taken away? Who does that? Why does that happen? Are we expected to be on our best behavior?
I'm so confused and I don't want to hear what anybody else has to say. They'll be like well maybe God's working on him or he isn't the one God has someone else for you...blah blah blah when is going to be like stand strong he's the one for you the enemy is trying to take him away because he is a blessing to you! That's what I believe but I'm the only one who thinks so and God doesn't seem to be giving me His two cents unless it's what everyone else is saying...if that's it then that brings a whole bunch of questions to mind. Why did he bring him back in my life and why did he allow me to believe it was from Him and that if I take it slow it'll work out? When can I get my happy ending? Then I hear well there's struggles in marriage too well when will there ever be a happy ending? When the end of the world comes? I have to wait until I die to be happy? I think God will like us to enjoy what He's giving us on earth I know He has only the best He's even said we can have it all!
Why don't we have it? Because we are sinners? But isn't that why Jesus died on the cross? When do we start receiving them? I know I've been being blessed financially but what about other part of my life? I guess I'm going to school so I can have a career to be taken care of but yet again that deals with financial. Should I be starting my ministry website like I've been wanting to do? If that why God keeps yanking Max away from me? Or is it because he isn't the one for me and I keep making it fit in to a box it doesn't belong? Am I that obsessed or crazy? I have a billion questions that make me go around and around in circles and I get sick thinking about.

Tonight at the healing room I went into the assigned room the last hour since I was running late but we didn't have people so the guy and I just talked. He explained about his adopted daughter and all the troubles she has put them through. I told him about Max ended up explaining our situation and letting him know all my hurts. He shared with me that's all normal for adopted children who have had troubled pasts but if he is a believer it'll all catch up to him. God will have him deal with it and heal him. It may take time but God won't let that go. He has a purpose and God will make sure it happens. He also said at this point I need to surrender it all to God. God will do what needs to be done to bring us together if it's meant to be. If not He will bring me the one person he made for me that will love me unconditionally and be a Godly man.

It's hard to hear but already today I've made up my mind that I was going to let him be. I took back the shirts that I bought him for his birthday and use that money to get my hair done and dressed all up wearing cute heels and all. I was feeling pretty good about myself but that still doesn't satisfy me. I want to curl up and die. I don't like this feeling of rejection that has become a part of me every guy that I truly want. I want to puke, cry, faint, sleep forever!

When will I get the guy he made for me? If it's him when will he grow up?

I'm tired and want to go home to cry now.

Since I've found out about the blessings that will be coming I've just been getting attacked left and right. The worst thing about it is that I'm eating it all up! I've been fighting with my mother like we did when I was in high school also, Max and I aren't doing too well. He hasn't made any effort to contact me well I mean find someone who has a working phone to call me. Then when we were suppose to hang out Thursday he didn't blew me off. I really don't want to go through this again. I really can't stand it! I want to give up and flip the fuck out on him but then I remembered that the enemy doesn't want me to get my blessings! He doesn't want me to believe that my God is an awesome God and will do anything for me when I ask him to intervene which is what I've been doing. I know that all this struggling is perseverance and standing in faith I'm not going to give up that easily! I love Max oh yes and I discovered what LOVE IS! I've been searching for the past month and a half and of course when I finally get it or am close I get pooped on because the enemy is pissed!

My mother is mad so I think I'm going to go to the westside for my great aunts birthday!

Peace

What a great day! Everything went smoothly from starting my homework to working at the tanning salon alone for an hour. Then off I went to the healing room where the presence of God was there! An anointing we all felt!
Just to top it off with a cherry on top I was able to see Max tonight. I gave up the making him miss me thing because I know how he is and that doesn't mean or change his feelings for me. I know I just need to give that little push that I'm not going to go away that easily and I have much more patience with you now than ever before.
I stopped by after the healing room before I needed to come do work and he was just about to fall asleep on the couch while watching TV with Dan when I knocked on the their door. I felt bad because at first he didn't seem too happy to see me but he then told me that was just about asleep. When I looked at him his eyes were heavy. I only stayed for a little bit because I had my presentation to do.
We were all sitting on the couch watching TV and the boys joked back and forth while I just stared at him. As I stared at him for a while I realized how amazingly cute he is and how lucky I am to have such a handsome smart man in my life that I consider my boyfriend. Every time I see him it's like new each time. I want to give him so much and I want to do everything for him.
I sat for a bit and he walked me out so he can have a cig and we talked a bit longer now that he was a bit more awake. I told him about my weekend and when I work since I'm Miss busy now. We planned on hanging out Thursday he said without hesitation agreeing to do something with me. I will be expecting a phone call Thursday between 12-3pm. I asked him for a hug since it's been a week without seeing one another and of course I wanted more so I asked for a kiss, a deep kiss. He was self concious about his breath which I could care less about. Once we locked lips the last thing I was thinking about was his breath...my world was twirling and nothing made sense but us standing in his driveway on a cool summer night making out. My heart probably jumped and sank at the same time couldn't make up it's mind whether to be excited or relieved. My was it a long passionate kiss until he pulled away asking if I taste his nasty breath! I pulled him back for a little more until he tightened his lips to stop me. I gave him one last peck while his arms were still around me and gripped him tighter to me. While his hands were pulling away I felt a little slap on my butt. I couldn't help but giggle inside thinking "he's claiming me!" What else could it mean? I don't think he's into that kind of thing...I know of course what some people may say that it's just because my butt is so huge he couldn't help himself. It's not the first time he's done it though.
Ugh he's all I'm going to be thinking about now until we see each other again.
I'm getting tired it's late and I have to work tomorrow! Night