Hung out with Max and Steve both on New Years Eve. Watch the ball drop with Max and did the after party with Steve. I then came to the conclusion that neither men are good for me. Their offers are nothing but dull and worthless to my taste. I can't see myself with them under their conditions. Its unfair but God made it become more of a reality and I'm thankful he did that. It made me see what true depth each presented which was no depth at all. I'm thankful for this but at the same time sad because all I want is my happy ending. My cousin recently visited my website for the first time and then posted it on facebook so I had a visitor send me a message stating "God always saves His best for those who are willing to wait for it" what an encouraging message. That is becoming clearer each year that goes by as I "wait" for God as much as I go off track God is always intervening in the "relationships" that I try to start. He never let's it get any where further and He always helps me recover from them quickly. He takes all my hurt and pain away exchange for new hope and faith in a bright future He's laying out before me. How is it so hard to just keep that? Why do I put my trust in these "men" rather than my God who has never let me down nor has broken my heart. I don't get myself. Why would I rather take a chance to suffer with no promises of affection thereafter rather than "suffer" for Him and receive eternal affection beginning here as a gift and then living eternally with Him forever? Sounds crazy I know but its what I believe to the very core of me. Praise Him for He is good. He is who keeps me sane through all I've been through in life and whatever is to come. Thank you God.