I found out tonight that Max is no longer a friend of mine of facebook...I realize how silly this sounds but if you knew Max you'd think that's a big step since that is the only way of communicating.
I'm so hurt right now )=
He hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I'm not what he wants at all. I'm far from it.
I never want to be like that to someone. I never meant to cause this I never meant to make him not trust me or think of me less than he did. I never would want to hurt him. I feel like anything I do now will just not work and make things worse. God I'm so far down now. Father I hate this place. It feels like the first time and it's the worst feeling in the world. I think you were trying to tell me. Ugh I hate myself. I understand how he feels now I'm just a manipulative bitch! I do things because I want things to go my way or wonder how they will work out for me.

I go from one emotion to the next which is a feeling of numbness where I don't think or feel anything. I kind of like it because I don't feel the pain nor the urge to cry.

I feel like everything we've ever talked about, did, or built was thrown away.
God why does he hate me so much? How come love is so painful here on earth?
I have no energy for this. I can't breath...I want to sleep. I can't believe this

How did it come to this? I'm so sorry for messing things up! Please fix this!