I seem to be finding myself in these situations too many times. It never get's old the pain seems more real and hurtful then the last time. I never learn. It's like I enjoy the free fall then splat I hit the bottom. Why don't I ever think about the consequences to these actions?
Where does it go wrong?
God always intervenes or at least I hope that's what is happening.

I let things get too far in my own plans & here I am with nothing.

I feel like an idiot.

In the past month I've let two men reject me.
One I completely was in love with while the other I just wanted to chase me.

They always beat me to the punch line. I don't know if heart break is something I really can't do or they do it before I do it to them.
I can't make plans any more I guess. None seem to turn out the way that I had hoped or wanted.
I realize God is in control and it's for the best but I feel a little lonely right now. Again I realize this is when I'm suppose to seek Him for comfort and realize He is everything I could ever ask for.
Why don't I then? Why do I have such a hard time doing so?
I'm tired & want to go home.

*tear*